4TH BATCH GREETING CARDS
O 600 Pound Bluebird flies overhead
Bird Watcher: “May the elusive 600 Pound Bluebird of Happiness
grace your birthday with song!”
I 600 Pound Bluebird of Happiness lands on a rooftop, crushing shingles.
It sings: (a long low, glass breaking vibrato) “Chirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!”
HB
O Trainer stands beside an art painting elephant wearing a big beret, brush in trunk:
Trainer: “Mumbo would like to paint a birthday card for you.”
I Mumbo has made a mess on the canvas.
Trainer: “Well, it’s a start. It’s art!” Happy Birthday!
O Two lady elephants at a jewelry counter…
One Holds a ruby pendant next to her ear and asks her friend.
“Do these make me look old?”
I Friend: “Now that you’re sixty five you don’t ever need to ask again!
Splurge!
Happy 65th Birthday!
O Elephant Diving Meet: A huge elephant earns 10s from every judge by entering
without a splash.
I Poolside: another gold medal around elephant’s neck looks grand on the winners’ stand, where second place silver on the giraffe and third place bronze on the baboon lack luster/
I marvel at how well you do what you do when you’re doing it. Congratulations
O Young elephant sick in bed with a runny trunk. Piles of linens all around
Mama Elephant: Here’s another tablecloth. If that doesn’t work…
I I’ll bring in the sheep.
Sorry you’re not feeling well. Glad you’re in good hands. GWS
David BrunoehleR
O A Pick strikes a bright gold vein inside a dark mine.
Pick’s thought at the point of contact: Eureka!
I Pull back view: Gold Vein spells Congratulations across the mine wall.
O Ants all around a giant mound. One Stands tall at the top wearing a crown. Looking down from behind we see printed on his robe: “King of the Hill…”
I …still. Congratulations!
O Little Boy with Dad finding seats under the Big Top.
Boy: Dad, why are all the clowns sitting in the bleachers?
Dad: Those aren’t clowns, They’re old people.
I Flamboyant Old Woman (To Reader}:
Another advantage of being 65!
You can wear anything you want, any place, any time
O An Indian Princess sits serenely by a pool in a garden near the Taj Mahal.
Princess to Reader: Feeling Lucky? If so, touch the red dot between my eyes..
I The dot area is magnified 10x so we can read the message inside. It says,
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are a real winner!
]Card
O Two Gentlemen admiring a 1946 Stutz Bear cat. It’s in mint condition.
One Man: Well, I gotta hand it to ya… you and that car got a lotta similar qualities.
I Man Two; Yeah, We’ve got “Chrome Domes, Looks better on the outside than the In, Like the same cereal , see the same doctor – even carry large gas loads — Man One: Cereal?
Man Two Cereal, motor oil – same difference. The main thing is we;re 65!
65 and fit to drive! HB
O Two Hags play Cinderella in a shoe store. POV You, the reader as customer.
A tiny glass slipper is lowered to your feet…
I Shrieks as the two Hags fling back in shock. “It Fits!“
Congratulations. You are the fairest of the mall.
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
O Two Sloths in a tree
One says,”Glad you made it up here.”
I Congratulations on your big move.
O Old Man walks under a ladder, breaks a mirror with his cane and sees a black cat cross his path in front of him. Luck? Who needs it when you’ve got….
I “Stick-to-it-iv-ness” Endurance and Longevity! Here’s to a Healthy, Happy 65Th
O Friend at bedside of ailing patient
Friend: “I’ll be honest. I don’t want all of you completely well.”
I Friend: “Please keep your sick sense of humor sick. The rest of you can GWS.”
O Man pinned to target board at a firing range. Bullets hit all around him.
I (They had the)* Wrong Target Congratulations!
*(optional)
