April 4, 2012

Lizard Looks

LIZARD LOOKS


Here’s to dudes who sport iguana cuts

Gelled and held up on their heads

A first impression might imply they’re nuts

Or that their barbers were misled.

It’s hard to say who first inspired the look

Could be Buckwheat before braids

Can you imagine how much time it took

To get that first hair stylist paid?

What more and more men wear

With their new Mohawk hair

Goes from pulled down jeans to suits

It always tickles me to see a wife beater T

Looking better than the guy in a tie

The little T shows abs where the suit hides flab

In this nebulous amphibious rivalry

So before I have to go

Look our lizard looker over head to toe

And if  he needs another lizard – look goodie

Nothing says lizard like a zippered hoodie.

.

© 2012  David Brunoehler

February 23, 2012

Little Murders

Little Murders

It’s not illegal

And yet it’s lethal

An innuendo

That when crescendos

Is gonna kill

A little murder

A little dirt

Ill will

A thrill

 

Here’s to little murders

Cheers to those who do them

Scrap that cloak and dagger-you

Needn’t use them

There is a way

To put someone away

With little, subtle things

That you do

And you say

And

Amen

I’ve done them

Gone and picked a perfect victim

And done him in

And

Ah yes

They’re gruesome

Even to the ones who do them

Go and do some

 

I love an intrigue

A little mystery

Sleuthing them daily

Who-done-it gets me

And even worse

A little murder

Is hard to capture

At first

The worst

 

Here’s to little murders

Cheers to those who do them

Scrap that cloak and dagger-you

Needn’t use them

There is a way

To put someone away

With little, subtle things

That you do

And you say

And

Amen

I’ve done them

Gone and picked a perfect victim

And done him in

And

Ah yes

They’re gruesome

Even to the ones who do them

Go and do some

You cannot see them

But you can feel when

A smile gets eerie

And soon you’re weary

Some looks can kill

A little murder

Behind a flirt

Covert

It hurts

 

Here’s to little murders

Cheers to those who do them

Scrap that cloak and dagger-you

Needn’t use them

There is a way

To put someone away

With little, subtle things

That you do

And you say

And you do

 

© 2012 David Brunoehler

February 21, 2012

Think I’m Gonna Stick Around

Think I’m Gonna Stick Around

Gonna stay a little longer
Than I planned
Jump back in the water
And kick up the sand
Somehow the thought of leaving
Has left me behind
Think I’m gonna stick around
Hope you don’t mind

Gonna wake again and find out
Here I am
Rise and shine and hang out
Right here where I stand
The notion of more motion
No more can I find
Think I’m gonna stick around
Hope you don’t mind

Think I’m gonna stick around
No more thoughts of travel
Plant my feet, back in the ground
Let all flight plans unravel

See, I couldn’t leave without you
Never would
Any place without you
Just isn’t good
The thought of being elsewhere
Is cruel and unkind
Think I better stay in town
Hope you don’t mind

Music

Even if I wasn’t asked to
What the heck
I’d have to be beside you
You knew I’d be back
Somehow the thought of leaving
Is now out of line
Think I’ll put my luggage down
Hope you don’t mind

Gonna spend a little more time
Every day
Celebrate the sublime
And not go away
The more I like to linger
The longer I’ll stay
Think I’m gonna stick around
Hope it’s okay.

© 2001, 2012 David Brunoehler

February 7, 2012

You Have A Drug Problem When…

  • You only have one facial expression. Ö you”ve lost your appetite for solid food. Ö your reflection always startles you, at first; then in time you learn to avoid it. Ö you drank the bong water. Ö you”re always looking for a doctor who”s more easy-going. Ö parents reign in their kids when you walk onto a playground. Ö when others speak to you they either seem frightened or extra careful not to upset. Ö the simplest instructions seem mind-boggling – oh, screw it – they”re a waste of time. Ö you think rehab is for quitters. Ö your hair and gum lines recede faster than the tide. Ö tracks are either a skin problem or an optical phenomenon. Ö your pupils are so dilated you can”t tolerate daylight without good, cheap shades. Ö when photographed at the zoo, someone notices you resemble the raccoons. Ö your first impulse is to hide when there”s a knock at the door. Ö flashbacks replace memories. Ö you suspect anyone who smiles at you. Ö old friends aren”t as understanding as strangers. Ö doing community service is a bigger bummer than doing time. Ö you wonder why cops always seem to pick on you. Ö valuables aren”t as valuable as how you feel right now. Ö nobody really “owns” anything. Ö to you, “juice” means liquor. Ö a dealer has nothing to do with cars, real estate or playing cards. Ö sunshine is something you take – not tan in. Ö you lose your balance when you turn your head. Ö you can”t feel your tongue, let alone speak with it anymore. Ö patience is not a virtue; it”s a pain in the ass someone is trying to stick you with. Ö you think roaches are a good thing. Ö the Stone Age must have been a great time to be alive. Ö nobody sees that little man who keeps bugging you. Ö you have a direct line to the voice of Ra. Ö your nickname is Mr. Natural.

February 5, 2012

Lovin’ Over Budget

Lovin’ Over Budget

We live in an apartment

It’s what we can afford

The jobs we have pay all the rent

Thank God and praise the Lord

The fact that we’re employed and healthy

Makes us mighty proud

We’re middle class – not sick or wealthy

And you can bet your bottom dollar

Our love is well endowed

Somehow we’re livin’ like

A king and queen

Without a big castle

Or buying a thing

And while we keep on livin’ life

Within our means

We’ll keep on lovin’ over budget

Far beyond our wildest dreams

She likes to cut out coupons

He’d rather dicker down

We often stop to window shop

Before we go to town

On the day when we were married

We didn’t wear expensive rings

We put a few bucks down for a bridal gown

Payin’ pennies on the dollar

We ate cup cakes and got more things

Somehow we’re livin’ like

A king and queen

Without a big castle

Or buying a thing

And while we keep on livin’ life

Within our means

We’ll keep on lovin’ over budget

Far beyond our wildest dreams

Go to auctions, save receipts and never buy cars new

Always hate it when we have to go in debt

Don’t buy magazines that envy what the big stars do

Always looking for  new ways to make do, yet

Sometimes when money’s tight

And the soup is getting thin

Wouldn’t it be nice

To roll in dough and waller

When our ship comes in!

For now we’re livin’ like

A king and queen

Without a big castle

Or buying a thing

And while we keep on livin’ life

Within our means

We’ll keep on lovin’ over budget

Far beyond our wildest dreams

-Instrumental –

Go to auctions, save receipts and never buy cars new

Always hate it when we have to go in debt

Don’t buy magazines that envy what the big stars do

Always looking for new ways to make do, yet

Sometimes when money’s tight

And the soup is getting thin

Wouldn’t it be nice

To roll in dough and waller

When our ship comes in!

Somehow we’re livin’ like

A king and queen

Without a big castle

Or buying a thing

And while we keep on livin’ life

Within our means

We’ll keep on lovin’ over budget

Far beyond our wildest dreams

© 2012 David Brunoehler

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January 27, 2012

Let’s Go Play on the Roof

Let’s Go Play on the Roof

Let’s go play on the roof

Crawl inside the drier

Get out grandpa’s matches

And start a little fire

.

Let’s throw kitchen knives

How ’bout a round of mumble y-peg

Pull down hornet hives

And run with them between our legs

.

We could hide inside the fridge

Play in traffic

On a bridge

If we get too bored

There’s the Ouija Board

We could bring back

Grandma Midge

Or play Blind Man’s Bluff

On Dead Man’s Curve

If that’s not enough

Pop a paper bag

To wake up Merv

Let’s break glass in ice

Break dance naked

Breed some lice

Sniff a tube of glue

Make black Kool-Aid

Hide a shoe

We can always find a game

Like playing chicken

With a moving train

Awake a sleepy bear

Fling some monkey poo

Into a lions’ lair

Wash our hair in bleach

Microwave a leach

Spook the cat

Hunt for bats

Build a pumpkin bomb

And dress up Tom

Shoot Niagara Falls in barrels

Singing dirty Christmas carols

Play poker with dry camel chips

And Crazy Glue between our lips

Let’s go play on the roof

While every one else sleeps

Give each other purple Herbies

And definitely the creeps.

© 2012 David Brunoehler

January 26, 2012

February – Fourteenth Day

February – Fourteenth Day

February

Fourteenth Day

Glad I’m with you

Just wanted to say

The same old three words

I use every time

But in a new way

So you’ll know they’re mine

“Tequiero”

Spanish for

What I’m feeling

But I feel much more

Seems like the best words

Have been used before

I need new language

For one I adore

We could cruise the South Pacific

Through a thousand little isles

Where ever Tagalog is spoken,.

“ Mahal Kita” brings smiles

I’ll say, “Salamat po” for “Thank you”

And we’ll be off on our way

To celebrate this date:

February

Fourteenth Day

Kinda scary

In a way

To be carried

Away in this way

Not afraid to

Take any chance

So I will tell you

“J’taime” That’s from France.

“S’agapo”

That’s the Greek

With a hand-sign,

No need to speak

“Ti-Amo ‘s” Italian

“Ik hou van jou” – Dutch

“Ich liebe dich” is German

I won’t use as much

Long ago cave people painted

Their feelings on the walls

And in some primitive places

They copied animal calls

“Mel in le” is the Elvish

From the Lord of the Rings

“Wo-eye nee” is how the Chinese

Wooed romantic things

Around the world expressions

A zillion different ways

On every February

Fourteenth Day

–Instrumental Bridge–

This could be the best solution

Simply put in foreign tongues

But before I settle on one
There’s a couple more to run

Like a nudge under the table

Like a wink I toss your way

Little things that say “I love you,”

There, I said it anyway.

Different words that share one meaning

I am trying to convey

For this very February

Fourteenth Day

© 2012 David Brunoehler